I am a woman. I am a cat lady. I am a runner. I have a college educated. I love to read, and write. I have brown hair and brown eyes, but sometimes I have auburn hair and orange eyes. I wear lipstick when I forget to shower, and people don’t notice I haven’t washed my hair all week. I have no filter when I speak, and use words to express myself. And when women step forward sharing their stories of abuse, me too.
But first and foremost, I am a mother to my beautiful, redheaded, ultra intelligent daughter. She put a spark in my life that I didn’t know I needed. She’s reminded me to find beauty in everything. I pause and look at the little things that I once walked right past. And as her mother, I am terrified. Because being a woman means we face things that no man will every understand.
But I understand. You’ve gone through a lot. Me too.
me too.
If you have ever had a stranger shout at you from their vehicle. me too.
You take the long way back from class because that path behind the residence hall is where he hangs out.
“I’m not interested.” Doesn’t mean “Ask again”.
Our mothers raise us to choose a gas station on the “good side of town”.
He tells you he needs to “practice”, and you need to help him.
He’s doing you a favor, and you should appreciate what he’s sacrificing for your benefit.
You bring your laundry do the other floor because the last time you were in the laundry room on your floor is where it happened.
He threatens you, because you “promised” he would be your first when you were ready.
Because that boy who pushed you on the playground when you were told “boys will be boys”, is now the man who is pushing his wife around.
This isn’t just cat calling. It’s not something we are being sensitive about, and need to accept as a compliment. This is verbal harassment and physical assault on women across the entire country, throughout the last 15-20 years. And even before then, mothers, aunts, grandmothers… They’ve all stepped forwarded to share their stories of rape, abuse, neglect, and how they overcame the victim mentality. Put on a smile face, woman, the world keeps spinning. Right?
We are Team Green
When we discovered I was pregnant I had one wish: the gender is a surprise. I wanted a happy, healthy baby. The gender would not affect my love. I had no desire to flood my child with the colors that society had predetermined to represent their gender while still in the womb. Colors do not represent genders. Toys to not represent gender. Bedding and clothing do not represent gender. I made it clear that we would not subject our child to societal expectations. This child would make their own decisions.
My husband and I argued over baby names for months because I wanted a gender neutral name if we had a girl. I didn’t want her to be skipped over when HR was flipping through resumes, just for being a girl. It’s seems silly. It seems like it should be common sense- the best person gets the job. The smartest student gets the grade. But the name on the top of the paper plays a much stronger roll than we think.
Gender inequalities start at birth when Dad gets an extra pat on the back for a son and is told “buy a gun now” for a daughter. Why do we predispose our daughters as victims?
Not Me
I want nothing more than for my daughter to live a long, happy healthy life. We have not pierced her ears, because we want to give her personal autonomy over her body. Her ears, her choice. And down the timeline it will still be her body, her choice. As a young adult, I hope for a world where where she is in full control of her body and no one ever takes advantage of her because they are bigger, or stronger, or louder, or persistent.
It terrifies me to see the sheer magnitude of the #MeToo posts. But I am confident that by standing up, one by one, we can make a change in this world. we can educated the young people, male and female, human respect. I hope that when my daughter is my age she is able to say #NotMe.