You know what wasn’t a secret? How much I kicked and screamed when we moved to Texas. I was so happy living in Upstate NY, giving my “boss” hell for taking my job, blogging daily, lifting more than I weighed, and frequenting Miss America local pageants across the state. I did not want to move. But I also didn’t want to get pregnant, and when that happened, I knew things were going to change. We needed a better source of income, I needed the ability to take off work, and we lived in an economic pit of no opportunity.
There was an opportunity in Southeast Texas. Jon went down first and found an apartment. Four months pregnant, I reluctantly followed a few weeks later.
I didn’t expect to stay long. And I certainly didn’t expect to join a running community.
Flash Forward to 40 weeks. I literally spent my due date walking at a baby expo, then road a stationary bike at the gym until 1 am. I walked miles and miles during that last stretch before my pending induction at 41 weeks. Baby was comfortable and nothing I did was going to change that. I was induced. I had a horrible labor (no meds, pushy medical staff, complications) and then after two weeks with visiting family I was alone again. I had a new baby to keep alive, but still had no friends or support team.
The thing is, none of this is the case anymore. I’ve made friends, and feel a true sense of belonging in the local Mothering Group. I enjoy watching the babies grow into toddlers, and the watching the toddlers participating at No Excuse Mom. I feel connected in Mommy and Me Yoga, and have tracked more miles in 2016 pushing a stroller than probably my entire life. I love the babies in my life, even if I personally do not want anymore. I love CA’s friend Flower Child as though she is my own. I really, really, love the support of the Golden Triangle Strutters over the past year as I began to identify as a runner, and the group pushed me to race more, and race faster and longer. I truly enjoy this support they have for my husband, who has crushed lifelong Bucket List goals in a single year.
My secret? I actually like living in Texas.
Stop clutching your pearls, y’all. I’m still the same Kate of the Woods. I don’t wear cowboy boots, my hair is flat, and my ideology is more liberal than ever. But the community is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. For the first time in my life, this nomad wants to stay put.
After graduating high school I dropped my friends like flies. Well, technically I went away to college and they stayed home, so it wasn’t entirely my fault that we fell out of touch. Communication goes both ways. In college I rushed to graduate a year early and dropped my friends like trees falling in the forest. (See what I did there? I went to a forestry school.) I’ve just recently re-added my college roommate on Facebook, which is nice. But other than one other friend, gone. No connection. I finally have that connection.
Looking back, New York wasn’t home. It was safe because it was where I grew up. I was comfortable. I was complacent. But 2017 is about stepping out of my comfort zone, which is why I had to finally admit this to myself and to the world. Living in Texas is about making connections, and I feel more connected than ever. I am not ready to lose this.
I don’t know what’s happening this week, this month, or later this year. But pending Jon’s job situation we could be moving, and this place is going to be hard to leave.
