Social distancing… who knew that in a time of intense social media and online presence, we would crave that physical social connection with people. There are w countless jokes about millennials and their inability to use a phone (and would rather text), yet we’re struggling with no longer being able to be around people.
Staying away from people isn’t the hard part for me, I’m an introvert by nature. I don’t want to be stuck home, but I can do that too. My issue is losing myself to the monotony of quarantine. My mind is always moving, and I need to be stimulated (part of that is why I started blogging, as an outlet for my internal thoughts needing a place to go.)
I’m also a people watcher. One of my favorite pass times is to watch people and think of their fictional life stories. Actually, all of the books I’ve written (one day to be published) are ever so slightly based on true events and real people, but with plotlines created in my mind. When I’m locked inside, I feel as though I am also locked in my mind. And as a person who’s struggled with dissociation alongside anxiety and depression, I know how important it is to stay grounded. This bubblehead is not about to blow away.
What is “grounding”?
For some of us, or maybe for our kids, the fact we’re stuck inside is basically the equivalent of grounding. But that’s not what this is about. I don’t mean how to punish yourself, because between the risk of this virus and the economic impacts, I think we’re being punished enough. Grounding techniques help a person stay present when they are experiencing significant anxiety, under lot of stress, or feel like they are spiraling out of control. When I am overwhelmed I feel “bubble headed”, like a fly on the wall, watching myself make poor decisions. Grounding techniques were extremely useful in college, and I’ve carried them with me into adulthood and motherhood.
Sometimes it’s important for us to be intentional with out grounding, before our body (or mind, or spirit) gives up. Many people think of grounding techniques strictly as yoga or meditation, and while those work they aren’t for everyone. We don’t know how long we will be inside, it could be weeks or even months. We all need to be intentional with grounding techniques will help to sustain sanity while social distancing throughout the coronapocalypse.
(I understand it is a serious matter, but sometimes we need to find humor in dark times. I’m not making light of the severity of this topic. Trust me.)
So I made a list of some techniques that have been helping me, and I hope they help you as well.
Keep a Journal
Some of you may already keep a journal, or track some things in your daily planner. Writing down your thoughts, jotting down a few highlights from the day, or even going as far as following a journaling prompt will help to keep your days from blending into each other. Your journal can be as legit as a designated notebook, or as simple as a scribble on a calendar.
Set Alarms
In our home we thrive on structure and routine. Without the natural indicators throughout the day, like school drop off or pickup, or J getting home from work, it’s easy to lose track of time. Especially now squeezing schoolwork into the morning, we want to make sure we are not spending too much (or too little) time on one task. We take advantage of having an Amazon Echo in every room, but the alarm on your phone works too.
Some alarms we have: lunch at noon, no screen time before 3pm, start prepping dinner at 4:30pm, and kickstart bedtime routine at 8pm.
I also have tightened up my phone time (check out this post on phone addiction, and tips to limit time on your phone). Now that I have more free time, I find myself reaching for my phone more. Rather than be captured by the mindless scroll, and overwhelmed by the bad news, I went as far as to delete the Facebook app from my phone entirely. Other apps have stricter time limits so I don’t spend too long on them.
Food Rationing- Snack Prep!
Being at home all day, for many people, means blazing through their snack stash. You’re bored, I get it. But that’s not an excuse to eat. If you’re struggling with either yourself or a family member (I’m looking at you, parents of preteens) eating multiple snacks per day, consider a rationing technique. I’ve seen two that I like.
Option 1: Each morning, set out and label a bin or box (get creative, don’t run to the store for a new tote) with each family member’s name. Then, drop in a few snacks. Leave the bins on the table to pick from, but only allow family members to pick snacks from their bin. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Option 2: Label each snack with a monetary value, and reward the children with coins for tasks. Set up prices and payments in advance. Then allow the kiddos to “buy” snacks with their daily task money. Please note that this would only be for snacks, please still give your child meals.
Some people, like myself, have the I forget to eat problem. In that case, I utilize an alarm to remind me when to eat (and when to feed Sassy).
Morning routine days/date
Homeschooling has its own perks. One this we do each morning, originally only for teaching purposes, is sing the “days of the week” song, as well as discuss the date, and check the weather. This is important for preschoolers to learn, well, the days of the week, date, and weather. However, since social distancing, it has become very easy to lose track of the days. Heck, it feels like the past week has been a year long. Singing these songs with her has been extremely grounded for myself. Plus, knowing the day of the week will help me remember to put out the trashcan on Wednesdays.
I made this playlist on Spotify with our morning songs. We listen to 3-4 each morning after breakfast.
Don’t neglect daily hygiene & wellness
Y’all, the best part about staying home is the freedom to wear whatever you want. Even if you have to video conference in for school or work, no one knows if you’re wearing pants (let alone, jeans). Stay comfy, wear your lounge clothes. But don’t lose your humanity. Don’t neglect your daily hygiene, and low key beauty routine.
It’s sad that we’ve tied our “feeling human” to our appearance, but it’s true. Set reminders to shower, if you keep forgetting. It’s easy to fall into the mentality of no one will see me, do I really need to shower? Keep the habit of getting dressed in the morning, even if you’re changing from pajama pants into leggings. And if you normally wear makeup, put on some makeup!
I have decided that each Monday I will put on makeup, no matter what. I may put it on other days, but I am holding myself accountable for Mondays.
Video Chat
Moving across the country while pregnant left me very isolated. Thankfully, I had a digital baby shower to get goodies before our little cinnamon bun came into the world. From then on, she connected with her family members through video call. Although not ideal, obviously we would prefer to have face to face communication with family, video calls have been our reality for quite some time. And you know what- for the kids, its perfectly acceptable. Social distancing doesn’t mean we become anti-social. We adults will struggle more than they will. So quit making excuses. Video your neighbors, video your family. Prop up your phones or iPads during dinner time and eat simultaneously. Sassy will literally put the phone in her lap and watch movies when she video chats with her grandparents.
Many groups, like work units, class rooms, and church small groups, are utilizing video conference calls. The innovation is incredible. Even though there’s nothing quite like a handshake, fistbump, or hug (if you’re into that), the best part about socializing is the eye contact and facial expressions. So video your family, video your friends, and keep your social side going.
Get Outside
Even the strictest “shelter in place” guidelines currently do not prevent a person from leaving your house. Weather permitting, encourage your kiddos to do their reading on the porch. Or, plan a picnic for the family in the back yard. Integrate a walk around your neighborhood as part of your daily schedule. Check your guidelines for car rides, though most states are still permitting you to leave your home entirely- just don’t get out of your car. Or, perhaps you have a park with an open grassy area and walking trails where you can explore, run or walk, or play. Make sure you stay 6-10 feet away from anyone else, but you can still wave and say hello.
Keep coffee and alcohol to moderation
I love me some coffee. I am highly caffeinated at all times. But I have been drinking coffee 24/7 since college, and it’s essentially my blood type now. But for people who usually grab a latte on the way to work, yall’s bodies may not need 3+ cups each day anymore. Try to limit your coffee intake, and keep it in the morning. Caffeine will impact your sleep, obviously, and without an early alarm set for work, you may find yourself not going to sleep on time. Maintaining a somewhat normal sleep schedule is essential, and caffeine will interfere. Even if you are highly caffeinated like me.
The flip side of the same coin is alcohol consumption. There have been so many memes and gifs about filling up quarantine cart with wine, or Corona Beer going on sale. Y’all do not need to drink your way through this pandemic. And you definitely do not need your children to overhear you blaming their school closures on your drinking. If you know me IRL off the blog, we’ve probably discussed my views on the mommy wine culture. But if not, in a nutshell I believe modern motherhood is masking its own generation of alcoholics and the media is normalizing it. But it is not normal. A glass of wine, or two, at dinner is fine. A bottle after bedtime each night is not. So please, please, please, do not use this quarantine as an excuse to increase your alcohol consumption.
If you wouldn’t drink the quantity of caffeine or alchohol before, don’t drink it now. There are countless reasons irrelevant to this post, including the above, but for the sake of staying on topic… feeling a buzz is the opposite of being grounded.
Pin for Later
So there you have it- eight techniques to keep you grounded during social distancing (or any time!).
Let me know in the comments…
- Do you have any other grounding techniques I’ve missed?
- What’s one silver lining you’ve experienced since the social distancing initiatives?
As always, feel free to reach out with additional ideas or techniques that have helped keep you grounded. Or, if you’ve like to talk during this difficult time. If things get serious, and you’re struggling with mental health- please reach out to a professional. These tips and tricks help, but should not replace proper treatment.
Check out this article for resources if you are struggling with suicidal related thoughts as a result of the social distancing, shelter in place, or coronavirus pandemic.
